ODE TO GRANDMA

From Alice’s 10 grandchildren. This poem was originally written by the grandchildren and recited at Alice’s 70th birthday celebration.

Darling Grandma,
No matter where you are
Whether you be near or far
Darling!
You’re always here for us

Breakfast with you is always a blast
With homemade jam in quantities unsurpassed
And fresh bread with marmite spread (Something men in this church dread!)

Teatime so magnificent you do a double take
Elderflower cordial, scones, knickerbocker glory and ginger cake
Fresh berries from the garden with a scoop of ice cream or two
So delicious it is impossible to outdo

Grandma can conquer any place
Often with a sketchpad in hand
And mosaics crammed into a suitcase
Steyning, Simon’s Town, Caramany,
Just a few of the spots Grandma made home

Grandma’s positivity is contagious
She always makes us smile
Her laugh is infectious
And heard from many a mile

A welcome relief from those pesky parents
Grandma to the rescue
With fun projects planned
(except for the one with compost and horse poo!)

Grandma’s garden is always a joy
Angelique tulips, agapanthus, roses, boy oh boy 
A forest of flowers
Her garden gives us superpowers

Darling, ingenious Grandma
Always creating
Maker of mosaics, facemasks, bin-bag dresses, sandals
She loves her people-watching and sketching,   

Broken plate? No fear, Grandma is here with a brilliant idea
To have a smashing time with plates
And create a masterpiece that impresses her mates
Without a doubt the best grandma ever
(By the way, Grandma, thanks for all those genes that made us so clever!)

Darling Grandma,
You don’t look a day over fifty
All those trips to the charity shop, you are ever so thrifty
In conclusion, our Darling Grandma is
Completely and utterly brilliant.